by Rupa Ghadi
The news of a 18-year-old girl committing suicide by jumping in the river brought in a sense of depression to me this morning. She is not the only one who initiated this step but there are several young faces who decided to bid adieu to the world without giving a second thought.
Our constitution gives them right to vote, makes marriage legal, they are authorized for a drivers license at this age as our constitution considers them to be matured going statistically by the number of years they are in this world. Are they matured enough??? These little butterflies are tiny brains in a physically grown body. This is an irreparable loss to the family and probably the parents will hold themselves responsible for the rest of their life making their living a hell.
I am sure girls and boys of her age whom she bid adieu also would not support this decision of hers, but alas our words cannot reach her today, the screams of her mother will never be heard by her, she cannot see her dad pleading her to be back home, old grand parents, uncles, aunties, friends, friend’s parents, relatives, neighbors, teachers, staff must be guilty of not recognizing this emotion in this girl.
Dear kids: my earnest request to you, there is no problem in this world that cannot be resolved by dialogue. Losing a dear one to accident and illness is not same as losing to suicide. Suicide leaves a black scar on all the lives left behind with a thought that may be “I could have saved this soul” Its leaves your parents with an unbearable grief at times which leads them towards depression/ addiction or even self harm. Please note their life will never be the same as it was while you were here.
I understand there is a generation gap and probably at times parents tend to react strictly, are stern about their ideologies or even rigid but please note your best well wishers are your parents. They are strict, rigid because they love you and are insecured about your decisions and they want the best for you. Probably with time they will learn to accept the change but I plead you not to overreact on their reaction.
- Please do not cease having a dialogue with your parents firstly.
- No mistake is worth your life.
- If you aren’t comfortable talking to your parents, approach your uncle /aunt / teachers/ friends parents (whom you think are easily approachable) or even a friend to help you find solution to your problem.
Your loved ones will never disown you just because you failed in something. Remember they have seen you fail eating your first morsel, they have seen you fail walking your first step, they have seen you fail talking your first word, they have seen you fail as a sports person, they have seen you fail on stage, they have seen you fail to achieve your best in studies, they have seen you struggle with relations and believe me they are the ones who always picked you up and they will do this even today for you.
What you are today is an outcome of your failures and timely support from them. So as Amir Khan advises his friends in 3 Idiots-always carry a photograph of your parents in pockets and watch that smile on theirs if ever get a suicidal ideation. Please tell yourself the reason you are planning to end yourself will not last for long but the smiles of these two wonderful faces will be lost forever without you.
You will then bid a good bye to these stupid ideas of killing yourself and realize your problem wasn’t worth the smiles that will be ceased….
Saare jahan ki amaanat hai ye jeevan tumahara tumahara nahi
Jeene ke lakhon bahane yahaan
Koi pyar jeevan se pyara nahi pyara nahi
Jeevan mithana hai dewangee koi pyar jeevan se pyara nahi
Saare jahan ki amaanat hai ye jeevan tumahara tumahara nahi
Jeene ke lakhon bahane yahaan
Koi pyar jeevan se pyara nahi pyara nahi
Jeevan mithana hai dewangee koi pyar jeevan se pyara nahi
Inspiring. If one sit and ponder on it, he/she may smile later. First have faith in God and obey his ways. What we lack today is a strong religious bond. Parents may teach this at an early age. Also parents should encourage the child how to face harsh world. Be their best friend. With proper upbringing parents can instigate total mutual trust, respect and love. Its difficult to fathom a teenagers mind, at least parents can guide it with sincere and loving behavior
This reaction of younger generation is because of ‘they do not trust their parents’ for any matter.
Very sad and unfortunate. And this is happening everywhere. It is mainly because of the changing social environment which includes getting addicted to social media on mobile, Unwanted tv themes, distancing onself from perents and relatives. Today’s kids are lacking holistic development like the way it used to happen, outdoor activities with neighbours irrespective of who one was, enjoying festivals, eating together, no biases in schools. Independently facing odds and never give in to trivial issues.and many more…
There is also the other side of this situation .. staying in nuclear family.. both parents working .. both parents finding their own ways to enjoy life .. I think kids are feeling left out since there is nobody to talk to them .. it is parents who substitute mobiles and other gadgets for their presence .. importantly parents also need to prioritize talking, discussing and playing with kids .. in fact it is not just that the younger ones need attention but as kids are in puberty.. dealing with their hormonal changes, physical changes which bring in emotional changes .. they need you even more during this time ..
I think we have to include psychology as one of the subjects from 8th std. The Children of today are not matured enough to handle their own lives. Very sad…….
Ujwal, I think this is a valid suggestion that you’ve come up with. Children should be taught how to deal with the difficulties they’d face on all fronts of life.
Hii
U said me to approach someone who loves or cares
If the own parents (who has some crores of property) treat as a enemy for me just becoz i ask them 20-30rs a day….
Who the hell r der for me….
No one not even 1 to care!!!!!
Hi .. there are always two sides of a coin.. what you are seeing is your perspective .. I do not know the reason for this understanding of yours but if you feel your parents are unapproachable .. try approaching your siblings, friends or teachers .. and talk your heart out to them … you will definitely find one who will understand you.. just as Rome was not built in a day .. solutions cannot come or be implemented in a day .. these are relations …. you need to work on them … you need to win their confidence and let them also talk their heart out..
There are several reasons behind mistrust and often it is not just one incident but an accumulated series of episodes .. but be patient .. and trust their love that is unconditional ..
Nice article to read,keep it up .
Good Article,,,
The Problem nowdays is parents not giving enough time to their children.
Burden is put on kids shoulders right from Playschool,LKG,UKG,,,and so onnnn.
Parents think by giving them good education (paying huge amounts for schools) their responsibility is over, but they forget “The Most Important School of any children is at HOME”.
When time passes parents realize the wrong things happening & blame on their children instead of focusing on their “HOME SCHOOL”.
Hazrath Ali (Allah’s Blessings be on him) said “Play with you children for seven (years), discipline him for seven (years), and be his companion for seven (years), then leave him after that”